Years ago, while out having drinks in San Francisco, an old friend — likely tired of hearing me spiral about work — challenged me to list as many things as I loved in under a minute. Nothing, he said, was too small or too absurd. Anything that felt true in that moment was welcomed.
At that point in my life, now more than ten years ago, I really struggled with this. Not because I didn’t love anything — but because I was thinking too much, and aiming too big.
In the sixty seconds I had, I think I came up with just a few things I loved: my family, baseball, learning, and (maybe) work. Pretty weak list.
I realized I had completely overthought the exercise when it was his turn. The first thing he said was coffee. Then he went on without pausing — listing music he loved, musicians he admired, his joy for reading old, arcane philosophy books, for writing raps and poetry, and the way his girlfriend (now wife) smiled when he took her to her favorite restaurant.
Looking back, I can see this was a heart-based practice — his way of helping me get out of my head. Any rational thought in this circumstance does nothing but jam up the endless flow of gratitude that lives inside us.
We just need to let go and see what surfaces.
This is an exercise I still return to whenever I feel myself drifting too far from my heart, or when it feels like I’m wrenching my way through life. It takes a single minute, and it always resets me. Better yet, when I record them I am able to return to them later for inspiration.
To demonstrate this, and in honor of all the love we get to celebrate this week — I thought I’d share this real-time recording I made while writing this piece:
If you feel called to it, I would encourage you to take a moment and record yourself doing the same. If you struggle the first time, as I did, don't judge yourself. Just try again, and give yourself permission to let anything that comes up be acknowledged.
If you find it helpful, drop me a note. I’d love to hear about it.
Happy Valentines Day! Here’s to all we love in the world.
✌️